After going through a difficult split, it's temping to sit around your home, room or apartment all on your own and bemoan. While it's okay to be a little lazy and sloppy during the grieving period (go here for more on that) of your split, you have to be sure this behavior doesn't become a routine.

When you complete simple life again after having a long break, all your practices and routines refresh themselves. When you were with your ex, especially if it had been a long connection, you likely did things together each and every day. Certainly, it can be very challenging to set up your own schedule again with no real help or direction.

Due to the freshness factor and not enough direction that many people have once they get left, it's really easy to fall into bad habits. More people have to recognize that breakups are an opportunity to remold your self and get back on the right course. Here are a few suggestions to get you started on the right foot again:

Enlist the help of your friends. You're definitely not likely to be open about your difficult time, however your friends can be a enormous aid in having your life sorted out again. For instance, because you probably spent most of the weekend evenings with your ex, you might not have much going on on Saturday and Friday nights. This really is where your good friends will help you out: they must be able to sort you out with something fun to do, or at least point you in the right path.

A word of caution though: try not to depend on the same number of friends every week-end for anything to get done (unless of course you're really close already). You run the risk of falling into a codependency pattern just like the one you'd with your ex (remember that no contact will help you out a lot here!).

Create a new social circle. The easiest way to experience alive after having a break up is to make some new pals and try something new. It's also an excellent method to ease back into the dating world again. If you're not so social or just don't know where to turn, then get online and uncover some clubs or organizations in your city that interest you. Common interests have a large amount of the stress and awkwardness out of making new friends and meeting new people.

Give it time. I know almost every article concludes with this particular advice, but it must be repeated!  Injuries and spirits take time to recover. It had been loved by me if everybody got over their split in 1 day, but it takes many people a few months. Hope for the best, but policy for the worst and you'll be back on course with a little help from your own friends in no time!

 As a site owner in the relationship industry, I get lots and plenty of messages from people who genuinely wish to patch things up using their exes. I know, I promote a product that is built to do exactly that, but also for lots of people getting back together isn't the best idea.  

It is natural to wish to work things out together with your ex especially when the split is new. I have been there myself many times! I do believe the reason we make an effort to stop the split is because we are afraid of change, even when we are in a bad relationship. So, before you make any try to make your ex take you back, sit down and consider why you want it to happen. Below are a few ideas to get your mind working:  

Is it an enmeshed relationship?   This is a expression that experts use to describe interpersonal relationships in which person depends completely on the other. You do everything together and if it is possible to not function without your significant other, then you are likely in an enmeshed relationship. They're not healthy for you in the long run.  

These types of relationships really are a bit distinctive from the buddy-buddy items that happens when you're near to someone. Think extreme and you're on the right track. For instance, if you literally do not have the courage, confidence or determination to go to a restaurant, film or store without your ex, then it's an enmeshed relationship. You are totally dependent on the other person to do some ordinary task. Seem like it's worth getting back together? No!  

Was there any kind of abuse in the relationship?   Abuse comes in numerous types, but they are all awful. Whether it was physical, sexual, verbal or elsewhere, any kind of abuse creates an unhealthy relationship and one which should simply stop. You are better off single. The difficult part is working together with people who were in abusive relationships and convincing them that it's not their fault and their ex will not change. In these cases, I suggest people get some professional help.  

Have you been under 20 or is this one of your first breakups?   I get LOTS of messages and weblog comments from middle, senior high school and college students. I don't know how to say this politely: 90% of the time, they're upset and stressing about something which does not have any long term implications for their lives. In many cases, I would bet money that their ex was not their 'soulmate' and they'll find someone else.   The issue a large amount of these younger readers have is that they are completely overcome with these feelings that they have never had to handle before and they don't know very well what to do. I do believe the answer for pretty much all of them is to really undergo and read this old article.  

You can find a few other occasions when I do believe relationships aren't worth saving, like when somebody was cheating or when there are serious trust problems. Maybe I'll get into those in a later post, but I do believe many people who email me for help belong to one of these simple categories.